MIKE’S STORY - Ativan Taper

I’m a middle-aged guy who has suffered from depression for many years. About 13 years ago I was diagnosed with bi-polar mood disorder and began taking lithium. It helped me greatly and I was stable until May of 2007. At that time I became moderately/seriously depressed.

Since I had been there before I was not too alarmed. I knew that there were some things I could do to help myself so I was confident that this mood swing would run its course and I would be OK again.

I began to experience insomnia, not unusual with depression. I got a prescription for Ativan from my GP and started to take it. This was not the first time that I had taken Ativan for insomnia. About 20 years earlier I used it for 2 weeks. After that the doctor would not renew the script. He firmly told me that it was highly addictive and not meant to be used for any longer than 2 weeks.

This time however, my GP was more than happy to renew the prescription. I had expected her to refuse just as my previous doctor had many years earlier. Instead she said that if I needed it I should have it and not worry about addiction. I had, she said, about 8 weeks until dependency would be an issue. The information sheet that I received with the current prescription indicated that only 2 to 4 weeks was recommended. I did some research on the Internet and found out about people who became addicted in very short periods of time. I became confused as to how addictive this stuff was. The more research I did the more conflicted I became. I was still depressed ( the ambivalence about the medication was certainly not helping me feel any better!). I was also beginning to experience some intolerance with the Ativan, and the insomnia was re-occurring. By this time I had made up my mind not to increase the dosage and to try to get off it.

Although I had not used Ativan for very long I certainly did not want to quit cold turkey. ( There were plenty of horror stories on the Internet about the dreadful withdrawal symptoms  experienced by those who stopped abruptly).  I knew enough to taper off. The small size of the Ativan pill made dry cutting very imprecise. Crossing over to Valium, a commonly recommended method seemed complicated and somewhat unreliable. The water titration procedure seemed sensible and direct and I decided to go with that.

But finding out how to do it-I mean the details, was a whole other matter. Fortunately Denise on the Trap forum put me in touch with Anthea on the Benzo Support Group forum and the rest is history.

As I obtained the necessary information from Anthea I became confident that I could get out of the benzo nightmare. As I ‘watered off” my sense of mastery, so debilitated by the depression, started to improve. Sleeping gradually got better as well. I became skillful and knowledgeable with the titration procedure. Regular email contact with Anthea kept me on the right track and the titration went smoothly. I was off the drug in about 9 weeks. I will never take another benzo again!

It’s a strange experience to have received so much help and support from people who live far away and whom one has never met. I will always be grateful to the folks on The Trap forum for getting me started on the journey to benzo freedom.

Best wishes to you all,

Mike