The Benzo Book

Author: Jack Hobson-Dupont

The Benzo Book

Reviewed by Annie B

Annie B's website

Hobson-Dupont writes like a novelist, which makes the story of his benzodiazepine dependence, withdrawal and recovery as fun as it gets when you’re dealing with personal devastation, anger and loss. This personal account is brutally honest, yet encouraging. Most benzo users will find this book sharply observant and a source of comfort.

Like many benzo-dependent survivors, Jack first thinks his symptoms are physical in nature and the result of a bout with babesiosis. Then he wonders if the problem is in his head and decides to take a single, small dose of Effexor.

“All hell broke loose…I lost my mind…I could think analytically, but, oddly that was about all. I lost the ability to think creatively or to have ideas. And bizarrely, I could think of nothing other than myself and the condition I was in.”

Eventually he realizes the source of mental and physical pain is what we already knew. Xanax.

Jack finds direction, gains understanding and feels hopeful after reading The Ashton Manual. Angry because he was never informed about the benzo dangers and had been vigilant to about avoiding Valium, Jack puts these feelings aside and his doctor agrees to prescribe the Valium needed for a safe taper. Crossing over is temporarily difficult because the Valium sedates him during the day and he begins to have insomnia. However, healing begins and he finds support in online benzo dependency communities based in the UK. What the author believes distinguishes benzo addiction from other addictions is that he perceives it as a “mechanical malfunction” of GABA receptors rather than a chemically malfunction--the receptors simply need time to repair from overuse.

The author describes his experimentation with various supplements he tries in hopes of easing him through withdrawal, but has little success (with two minor exceptions, one being lemon juice with water.) Slowly, he accepts the only way to free himself from xanax is a slow taper and lots of time. He would prefer a shorter, more intense pain but sees the daunting reality for it is. Married and the parent of a teen-age son, his inability to function as a provider and father, along with his depressed outlook puts a strain on his wife who becomes the family breadwinner.

One of the most informative chapters discusses compassion burnout, an occurrence that renders family and friends stressed when trying to help a loved one through the long withdrawal process. Jack also offers useful tips for ways to deal with family, friends and professional acquaintances. He uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with a good deal of success, training himself to act as if he were feeling like the “old” Jack when in social situations.

Interesting bits of benzo trivia and big pharma history are included in the book. For example, the genius who created the first benzodiazepine (Dr. Leo Sternbach) had originally worked on the chemical compound for possible use as wood dye. Who would have guessed?

Hobson-Dupont also includes some FDA history and pharmaceutical connections that may get the most fatigued benzo users jumping up and down, organizing a public protest or writing their political leaders. For instance, in the US, a bill was recently passed that requires all citizens to receive government dictated vaccines whether they choose to have them or not. And if anyone were to be harmed by these vaccines the public won’t know because a Freedom of Information exemption was included in the bill. Coincidentally, the sponsor of the bill received a boatload of money from the usual suspects. The bill’s co-sponsor (a medical doctor) also received over a quarter of a million dollars in campaign contributions from drug companies.

“I was never deranged or delusional…I did, however, have the rather paranoid notion that I was the victim of a vast conspiracy by pharmaceutical companies—but then, that thought persists today.”

The book details Jack’s problems during withdrawal and how he manages symptoms. When meeting with his doctor, Jack decides not to tell him about depression in order to avoid being prescribed antidepressants. Ultimately there is no dramatic Hollywood ending, but Jack does successfully taper and withdraw from xanax.

At nine months he was having some symptoms but feeling hopeful about the future, although his self-esteem had been damaged by the experience. One sense his deepest regret is the feeling he let his family down.

Parts of the book contain information most online benzo support members are already familiar with: tapering schedules, Dr. Ashton’s research, the too-familiar symptoms and disillusionment with professional health providers. There’s also general information about anti-depressants. There’s also an appendix that includes Ashton’s tapering suggestions as well as a form letter patients can use to help them gain support from their doctors to prescribe a valium taper.

What sets The Benzo Book apart from similar personal accounts is the author’s honesty, some of his unique coping strategies, political-pharmaceutical information and the inherent compassion and empathy he conveys for all who experience a benzo dependency. Jack serves as a coach for others going through the withdrawal process and treats the suffering created by these drugs with well-deserved dignity. The tone of the book isn’t gloomy, but hopeful. It focuses on the many small victories and epiphanies during the journey, instead of the destination.

“Given time (and minimizing other stressors wherever possible) I knew I would heal. Why? Because, simply, the body is a self-healing mechanism.”

Jack’s book provides good company during benzo withdrawal and recovery, an experience that challenges the mind, heart and soul. And in spite of an outcome that offers no iron-clad guarantees, the book imparts the sense that benzo withdrawal success may be rewarding in itself for the restoration of self-respect that comes from such Herculean efforts—even if you feel more like Sisyphus than Apollo on any given day.

Publisher: Essex Press, 2006.